Learn to Forgive Yourself

Learn to Forgive Yourself

Sometimes in life situations are not according to our needs or according to what we want them to be, this is true for most of us. Some of us want something to happen very badly, but despite all our trying, all our efforts we yield nothing. All these situations have some effect on our life, we start to feel depressed, we start to think negatively, we start to lose focus, we become more irritated, we lose our temper more often, which again has its own effects.

This cycles continues, as we lose start to lose temper more often we start to lose people who care about us, which again degrades our social status and the cycle goes on and on. All this needs to be stopped as early as possible. But it really hard to understand and even more difficult to cope with such situations, especially when you when you do not know how to cope with such difficult situations.

What to do?

Try to understand that situation may not be perfect but there is no one in the world, who is completely happy. Everybody has his share of selective sadness, some want money, those who have money want to some leisure time, those with bad health want to be healthy and fit, unemployed people might want any kind of job whereas someone working might want to leave his job and try something else.

I have used the term “Selective Sadness” because the situation might not be as bad as we think it to be. All I want to say is that, be happy, be grateful with what you have, because there might be someone whose dream might be to reach where you are. Someone who did not had any food from days will be happy to get anything to eat, whereas someone might not be happy because he/she cannot afford his/her dream restaurant. Someone might not be happy they cannot dress like their favorite film start, where someone would feel blessed if they even get torn clothes.

Stop Harming Yourself

All this happens become sometimes we become too harsh with ourselves, we start to blame ourselves for whatever bad is happening in our life, and this is where we start to tangle ourselves in vicious cycle of self-repentance. It not only breaks our moral but also makes our thinking negative, it will break your confidence and it will stop you from doing something constructive. Slowly leading us to a point where we would eventually become a depressed and negative person.  

Being harsh with yourself, will not lead you anywhere, it will in fact stop you from enjoying whatever you have with you. This cycle of self-harming needs to be stopped. And the easiest way is stop Blaming yourself. In Bhagwat Gita, Chapter 2 Verse 47, it is written:

"कर्मणये वाधिकारस्ते मां फलेषु कदाचन । मां कर्मफलहेतुर्भू: मांते संङगोस्त्वकर्मणि" ।।

Translation from Sanskrit:

karmany evadhikaras te
ma phalesu kadachana
ma karma-phala-hetur bhur
ma te sango ’stv akarmani"

Meaning: The God says “You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.”

Try to implement this into your life, perform all your duties, pursue all your goals, always try to conquer every opportunity, and just concentrate in putting the effort not the end goal. Do not let the desire of the goal overcome your actions. You have the right to put in efforts, but you do not have the right to decide the end result. For example, consider any examination for a collage where number of applicants are 100 but seats are only 10, so that means 90 people will not be able to get admission in the collage in the same term. Each individual is unaware of how hard the others have prepared, all he can do is, work hard for himself.

Similarly, instead of try to work hard for everything in life without getting attached to the desire of the end result. Enjoy what you have, try to make maximum out of the every opportunity and if sometimes you fail, do not let it get into your head. Success and failures are part and parcel of life. All depends on your attitude, how well you deal with Failures.